Stress and the city

I have hit the peak. Complete misery has taken over the system..choking me. All the stress I’ve been taking over the past two months have now culminated..what with the appraisals happening at work and the exam in less than a month. The Hong Kong trip too is proving to be this major pain, because so much has to be done before it. I am shocked at the way I’ve allowed these things to affect me so much. I need to rethink my way of living…really need to introspect.

I came home and cried my guts out last night after an appraisal. Its funny aint it that you spend 12-13 hours each day at work, work weekends and all to be flippantly told it is only expected and the quality of work isnt what I am capable of. Isnt it funny that the fact that I did really well last year is what is coming to bite me in the ass? I am told that I’m doing well but not as well as what was expected of me. Another girl was told that we’re only spending time like “labour” and no value add is there..wtf…what is it that they’re expecting. I’m thoroughly disillusioned.

I’m really sorry KT for upsetting you…was really unfair of me to pass on my personal troubles on to you…but yesterday was a real tipping point…I’ve never been subject to this before…my efforts being belittled. Sorry.

One thing that I am taking away from all of this is that I really need to toughen up…I’ve always thought I was one tough cookie…but yeah perhaps some more toughening up has to happen…its really not in my nature to fight back. Heard that others had one hour fights with the managers..don’t you think maintaining that dignified silence at times might just prove that you are classier..I really don’t know. Anyway…I am not going to stick around in office till 11 30 – 12 anymore. I do that and get only the minimum rating…I might as well leave early and get the rating right?

In any case this isnt the final verdict..the big boss is yet to pass his glorious judgements on the matter…so let me see how this pans out. But I really need to stop taking myself so seriously. In the five years that I’ve worked I’ve never heard such critisism or treated so flippantly..I guess I will learn how to handle this..and also not to invest so much emotionally into my work..need to take that chill pill..

I had actually resolved not to blog till the exam…but this post had to be written…My guess is that June will be a better month than May is turning out to be…

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38 Responses

  1. this is work life and ethich the world over.

    All we can do is mould ourselves to the unfairness of it all 😦

    sad but true

  2. looks like you had a bad day..hope everything turns fine soon…

  3. Yeowch. Take care of yourself!
    :hugs:

  4. i understand where it coming from. been there, totally understand.

  5. sounds like stress alright – don’t despair….YOU know that you are giving ur 100%…no 200% and they will soon appreciate it….if not then perhaps it might be time to start looking for greener pastures…???

  6. It’s appraisal time here too and I too got to hear some unfair stuff but then I made them hear some stuff too. It’s fair dontcha think? I’m not the one who only hears. But I played a pretty good diplomat πŸ™‚ You know you have to be one among them to give them back what you get. And then anyways the rating are gonna be what everybody knows. It’s very true, don’t take things so seriously and working till 12!!! Is a BIGGGGGGGGGGGGG no-no.
    Now indulge in ur hobbies and do some timepass. Ans appraisal ko maaro goli yaar, zindagi usse nahi chalti πŸ™‚

  7. ooooh… i’ll miss reading ur blog… but if u so stressed, take a break..but be back soon!! πŸ™‚

  8. Take a break lady. and don’t kill your self working. take time out to indulge in your hobbies and if your company does not appreciate you, find another job. Just don’t beat your self over it, not worth it. I have been there, went through the same thing, finally quit that company and joined a better place.

    Take care and get some good rest.

  9. There was a time when I worked for 16 hours. Straight. And barely slept for four hours. It paid off. I am taken seriously. But then, my managers were kind and considerate and noticed the hard work. But sister, its not funny if you are not getting your due, then you stop going the extra mile for the company. Just do your regular work in the office, and then run off to KT’s arms for some TLC!!! πŸ˜›

    Take care!

  10. I am in the same boat. Don’t take ursef too seriously. relax and as ther others said make some time for some hobbies.

    BTW what exam are u giving?

  11. All:

    Thanks so much for your supporting comments…this was a long time coming! After 5 years of crazy hours, all night outs, more work than play I think its time for me to figure out a new way of living!! And I have been working towards it!! Trying to focus and close out the exam so that I can think in peace!!

    Praveen:
    I’m giving my Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) exam.

  12. CFA sounds fancy. When is it? and all the best.

    Hehe!! I can assure you that its nothing but fancy…just super expensive!! Its on June 8…

  13. Good luck on the CFA! Which level is it?

    Always, and always, trust your instincts. If your workplace is so stressful, you should seriously think about moving jobs..no point in working so hard in a place where you are not appreciated enough.. 😦

  14. Hey..you feeling better? Are you giving the exam here?

  15. Hope ur feeling better…

  16. You are not bored of studying all this while? No post at all!!!!

  17. Hey all…yeah I’m doing much better..sorted out some issues in the head…just got back from Hong Kong..was a good trip..will post when my work frees up a bit πŸ™‚

  18. That s cool.
    There’s little something for you in my blog! πŸ™‚

  19. Hey there,

    I have a doubt…I searched for your URL in google reader and added your blog feeds…I see in my google reader that someone called Matt Thomas has published posts (in your URL) post May 15th…and prior to May 15th, blog posts show up with your name “Gooddaysunshine”….Did you know this???Has someone hacked your password??

  20. Hey GDS, how was ur exam? Guess you can do a new post on it.

  21. you are tagged!

  22. areu back yet? how did the exams go?

  23. Coming here after a long time … I went through the same thing last year …. And you boss sooooo sounds like my former boss …. I can’t sit an argue with people for hours on end … And it’s impossible to keep track of all the things you did in the past week …..

    I’m sorry but whenever I read you blog, you just make me glad I resigned ….. thank you …. sorry again .. i’m not trying to be rude or something …..

    hope the cfa exam went well ….

  24. where did you disappear? Everything ok?

  25. Hiii GDS, hru & how did the CFA go? Heard it was a tough paper….

  26. Post already!
    πŸ˜€

  27. come back come back!

    We’re missing you!

  28. 😦 where did u disappear?

  29. Hi. hope everything is alright with you…. take care!

  30. Hey, how goes? Take care, come back when you feel like it.
    Missing ya!

  31. Hope alls well….

  32. You not back yet? Hope you are doing good.

  33. a kick in the butt is what they need. take some time off and do what you enjoy. really. careers are highly over rated. big hug.

  34. Hey how have you been?? No posts lately. Come back soon…

  35. sometimes we need to be retold that work is just a “small” part of life…and not life really…hope u feeling better now… πŸ™‚

  36. come back1 its been a while πŸ™‚

  37. whoa! see how many people are missing you GDS. Hope you are doing fine. Do post something soon.

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