Of books and snobs

Us human beings love to slot. Put things, people, events into neat little compartments. Slot, label, praise, be indifferent, trash. And then regardless of individual merit, judge something based on its common label.

Which brings me to books. The elite set of people who “read” have formulated the unoffical caste system for books and reading. Classics and High Literature, The Middle Ground and Trash.

Now answer the following questions:

– Do you read Mills and Boons?

– Do you like / hate Chetan Bhagat?

– Do you read Chick-lit?

– Have you finished books because it is cool to read them and your “portfolio is incomplete” if you haven’t even though you could barely sit through the damn bore?

– How do you like authors like John Grisham, Jefferey Archer, Erle Stanley Gardner

– Did you read Enid Blyton as a child? Did you start off with Noddy or did you jump on the Famous Five / Malory Towes bandwagon

– Did you go through the Nancy Drew / Hardy Boy phase?

Be truthful and feel free to be as elaborate in your answers. Am going to make this a two part post, though I am going to type out the rest of it now itself…I promise I won’t cheat based on the responses I get and you have to promise me to give me honest answers and not what you think is the “cool” answer..

Oops

A colleague and I were chatting and I was cribbing about our housewarming ceremony to be held the next day

Me: I’m going to keep a little book to keep count of the number of times people are going to ask me why I’m not wearing enough jewellery when we’re going to have a baby…blah blah

Him (After an unnatural pause): What are you saying?

Me: You know how it is right at these family gatherings…

Him: Sheesh you really need to be careful with your commas girl!!

Yeah and it happened and I managed to surprise everyone with my good girl way of dressing (read sari and a bit of jewellery) and I glowered at the vaadiayr* who said that the next “function” (why on earth is it called that anyway??!!) should be my seemandam**. Mr Vaadiayr I am not having one of those thingies when we do decide to have a baby and even if I am going to be coerced into it, I am for sure not having you over for it.

* Priest

** Baby shower?? (an uncool cousin at least)

The taste of India!

Anyone else a fan of the Amul ads?

Then you will love this!

Very random

I saw sparrows today, after god know how long. Are they becoming extinct? Pigeons on the other hand are thriving.

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I’ve been told by different people that I look like Tabu, Gayatri Joshi and Kareena Kapoor(sob!). I don’t agree with anyone. I just have traditional features that’s it. And I DO NOT have mannerisms like Kareena Kapoor. KT if you want our marriage to last, you will not say that another time.

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And oh! We complete 1 year of being married next week! So this year has seen my twenty fifth birthday and first wedding anniversary! Nice.

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Has anyone read The Zoya Factor?? Its chick-lit and normally not something I would have bought but someone gifted it to KT and I guess that person too thought it was more to do with cricket than being a breezy romance. Well in a nutshell its about a girl who was born the day India won the World Cup in 1983 and how she turns out to be a lucky charm and how India wins every match with her around at the breakfast table on match days. Of course there is the romance between her and the captain. Now my point here is that I was born a few days after India won the World Cup. The funny thing was that last year I had this fantasy that India would win the 2007 Cup as that was the next major event in my life – my wedding (after my birth in 1983). Twisted I know! And India crashed out so early in the tournament!!

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Was watching an episode of Dus Ka Dum..it had Katrina Kaif and Akshay Kumar in it. It just reinforced my hatred for Salman Khan (puke puke puke) and boy is Katrina Kaif dumb or what!! So incredibly stupid! And why doesn’t she find herself some nice hottie?? I mean now that she has used Salman enough can’t she find someone more her generation rather than someone who will soon be eligible for senior citizen concessions. But I lurvee Aamir Khan. Shah Rukh can be charming at times, but Aamir does it for me! Who is your favourite Khan? I don’t like Hrithik too much but I thought he was awesome in Lakshya, understated and hot! I really hoped that they would play it on TV for Independence Day but they didnt and chose Jodha Akbar which would have run for 8 hours I think.

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Been doing loads of shopping what with so many sales happening. We did go a bit berserk and I’ve been a bit guilty at blowing up money at the hands of several retailers. Till I met a friend and her boyfriend at Lifestyle. She proudly announced that she spent Rs 22,000 at one particular shop (no the zeros are fine!). And I jokingly remarked that her shopping for the next two years is complete and her boyfriend looked on fondly and said next two months (no he isnt Lakshmi Mittal’s son).

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My dream house will contain all of this: A nice Chettinad style door complete with ornate brass knockers and handles, those wooden pillars and a swing.

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Bachna Ae Haseeno looks good, I think I will hazard a watch. Everyone looks so good. I also want shiny straight hair and good skin!! I want! Rock On also sounds promising!

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Has anyone else watched MTV’s Splitsvilla? Its completely hideous. But I keep at it and have watched it regularly the past three weeks. Its some kind of a horrid fascination that I have towards the show. Of course there is the regular bitching, scheming and cat fights. But what I don’t get is how self respecting people would want to appear on a show like that. How do the parents of these girls and boys let them appear on the show. No I’m not a prude, but this is a bit too much for me to stomach. Or am I growing old?

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While on the topic of MTV anyone remember the old days when Rahul Khanna hosted Most Wanted? I loved that show and Rahul Khanna of course! And those days when Nikhil Chinnappa was just starting out doing Select! Sheesh I am growing old!! And I guess so are Nikhil and Cyrus Broacha…what are they still doing at these channels!!! 

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Twenty five year old hulk that I am I really need to get my act together and learn to drive. Ok I am putting it here on record that I will go over the course of next week and enrol myself for classes. Please to put pressure on me to do this. Thank you!

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Oh yeah I saw a trailer for Dostana. I have a nasty feeling about that movie. I may be mistaken but I have a bad feeling that Karan Johar has decided that his Kantaben track from Kal Ho Na Ho was very well received and has decided to make that the central theme of this new movie. The trailer went on about John Abraham and Abhishek Bachchan being gay. Now I hope this is not the central theme because I really don’t think Mr K Jo is capable of handling the theme sensibly without it smacking of homophobia.

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I am in awe of Michael Phelps. I was watching him in action and he is on a different plane altogether!! Eight golds and seven world records! He is just twenty three!! Was watching a show on TV and apparently he eats a 4000 calorie meal three times a day and the normal requirement for a man in a day is 2000 calories. Go figure!

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And on that note I will sign off from this bizarre string of thoughts!

I am not your mother!!!!

Got this in an email forward and loved it!!

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make
I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue
Isnt there anything I can do
To match his mothers shoe
Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight
Like his mother used to!!!

Phew finally!

Was tagged by Compulsive Dreamer on Apr 29! And I have finally hauled my lazy behind to do it!

Last Movie Seen In A Theatre?
Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na

What Book Are You Reading?
The Zoya Factor by Anuja Chauhan

Favourite Board Game?
Scrabble!

Favourite Magazine?
Readers Digest, The Week

Favourite Smells?
Homecooked food, Coolwater Davidoff, wet mud

Favourite Sound?
Bells,  the nice resonating ones, windchimes made of bamboo!

Worst Feeling In The World?
Of things not being under control, the realisation that you’re being taken for granted

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake?
Coffee!!!!

Favourite Fast Food Place?
Saravana Bhavan

Future Child’s Name?
You gotta be kidding me!!

Finish This Statement: If I Had A Lot of Money
I would travel the world

Do You Drive Fast?
No. I dont drive at all 😦

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?
Used to..not anymore

Storms – cool or scary?
Neither..I dont get scared and I hate the rain!

Do You Eat The Stems on Broccoli?
Errr no…why on earth is this important!!

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Colour, What Would Be Your Choice?
I’d keep it black, I have bad enough hair without having to draw attention to it!

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You’ve Lived In:
Madras, Bombay, Madurai

Favourite Sports To Watch:
Cricket, Tennis

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You
I’m just getting to know her, but she was incredibly sweet about this whole delay I caused in doing this tag never asking about it once!

What’s Under Your Bed?
Nothing..the floor!

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
What are my choices??

Morning Person or Night Owl?
Oh morning most certainly!

Over Easy or Sunny Side Up?
Dont like eggs

Favourite Place To Relax?
A nice empty beach!

Favourite Pie?
Blueberry

Favourite Ice-Cream Flavour?
Anything chocolatey

You Pass This Tag To
No one!!

Spilling some beans

Was tagged centuries ago by Never Mind and Lively to reveal 10 secrets. Im modifying this a bit to include certain little known facts about me..

1.  I don’t like the Lord of The Rings trilogy. I took the books up with great deal of enthusiasm, borrowing all three at one go and The Hobbit as well. Didnt go past 10 pages. I don’t understand it, I usually have a high level of tolerance for “boring” books. LOTR is not even boring but I cannot read it.

2. I once booked a ticket online, it got double booked and I had a tough time getting my refund. Ever since then I have not transacted online..no I don’t visit the bank or make payments personally, I just give KT a call and get him to do my business!

3. I’ve done a manicure and a pedicure just once in my life in a really good salon at that. Didn’t get what the fuss was about and have never gone back. I’m squeamish about getting a massage or a spa treatment done as well.

4. KT and I have made out several times in the ladies room at a clients place..yeah we did a lot of all nighters and weekend working, but no it wasnt just the two of us working 😉 , we really did have loads of work!

5. I have appeared in a small role in a TV series when I was a kid. I was apparently deluged with offers to act in ads and films, but my parents who’d let me do that role because it was being directed by a relative decided not to let me model and act. And I’m glad that they took such a call!!

6. I was the monitor in class 7. Some of my classmates stole lens from a camera in school and the headmaster called me to investigate. I found out the truth but my classmates rallied behind the thieving kids and kind of put me in a spot and I was under pressure not to “rat” on them. Before I could make up my mind the headmaster found out who took the lens and that I knew about it and stripped me of my badge as well. Needless to say I learnt a lesson that day.

7. I’m not much of a foodie, but I need to get comfort food and it has to be on time. I don’t experiment too much and if I’m not getting my basic dal chawal veggies I can really thrown off gear. I once cried when I came back home from a long day at work to find something that I considered inedible because it was too spicy…yeah that might have been some other harmones at play as well!! But even while I lived in Bombay and had to leave home at 8 am I ensured that I cooked some goo that I could survive on! A second person wouldnt have touched what I was cooking up!

8. I have given my brother a black eye once when we were kids. I even pummelled my dad once when he was drunk and acting obnoxious..so watch out!

9. I’m terrified of animals..dogs, cats and every other “harmless” creature.

10. I hate Salman Khan. If I were to come face to face with him I’d probably give him wun tight slapp!

Not tagging anyone because this one was doing the rounds lightyears back!!