Thought for the day

You know how men always say nothing can come close to their mothers’ cooking and how their wives take offence to it?

I don’t understand why. I’d much rather eat my mother’s cooking than my own or my husband’s for that matter. So why should he not prefer his mother’s cooking over anything else?

Go figure!

Edited to add:

Maybe I should explain what I meant! Three things happened in the past few weeks. I heard comments from three men.

One my uncle who is in a difficult marriage for so many reasons (most of which he has my support on). Now as usual when there are issues, even the smallest of inconveniences that arise from a marriage get magnified and one of these is food. Now my granny is a brilliant cook (as most grannies are!) and is definitely a tough act to follow. Now my uncle in a fight declared that his wife should learn to cook like his mother. My stand: Nonsense. He has absolutely no right to say that. His wife will cook the way she can. You try cooking like your mother if you wish.

Second, a colleague who got married in early 2007 is also not in a very great marriage with some fairly annoying compatibility issues, you know where neither the guy nor the girl is bad or evil, but they just can’t get along. Now this girl is a good cook, she dishes out pretty good stuff for him everyday and he has no issues on this score. He is quite a participative guy as well, sharing the cooking burden and all. Now apparently they’d gone to his place for dinner and he’d asked for a second helping of a vegetable his mom had made. She took offence to that, saying that he’d never asked for a second help of what she’d made ever and picked up a fight.

Now he is definitely not the idiot husband types who’d put down the wife’s effort and say his mother could make the same thing better. Yet all the other women at the table seemed to be touchy when it came to their husbands praising their mother’s food and they have nice spouses who arent the kinds to constantly compare at all and that left me bewildered.

Neither is my uncle for that matter, I’ve seen him appreciate his wife’s cooking and also have seen him make stuff for her..yet to even utter something like that was wrong.

The acid test for my real feelings came when we were discussing Diwali and the tradition in K’s house of having “The Feast” on Diwali eve. I could see the glint in K’s face with all the anticipation. Now we’ve been cooking now for the past one month and (unfortunately) I (with all my limited culinary skills) am the more experienced cook thanks to the fact that I lived alone for a bit. K’s contribution is essentially cutting vegetables (the toughest part of cooking!) and making the phulkas I roll out on the pan. So while I have ample help, essentially the taste of the food is dependent largely on what I do. And I know that what we come up with is pretty good considering the level of interest and experience we have in cooking (I entered the kitchen for the first time in Dec 06 and my cooking then was essentially vegetables dumped in dal – kootu that is for those on the know and rice, nothing complicated, bland and fit only for my consumption!). Yeah and coming back to the point, no I didnt feel annoyed that he was looking forward to eating his mother’s food (just as I like to run to eat what my ma dishes out!). As opposed to my colleague’s wife who took offence at his taking a second help and the other girls at work who thought that maybe she shouldnt have done it in front of her (wtf!).


11 Responses

  1. I guess its a matter of getting used to the new taste

    Yeah my point is however much you get used to or like the new style, its the mother’s cooking that is comfort food!

  2. am yet to knw and am sure I can openly brag about whichever I like.

    Brag openly??!! Don’t count on it mister!!

  3. 🙂 i guess for the wife, its a form of acceptance when her hubby says “i like your cooking’.. go figure i guess 🙂

    cool blog, came here thru Chandni’s…

    Hey there! Welcome here! And I’m not talking about acceptance and stuff…do read my update!

  4. because women are not aspiring to cook like the MILs. and the comparison is unfair. Two diff individuals, two diff ways of cooking….

    If you eat something made by ur hubby, you won’t suddenly start comparing it to your mom’s, right??

    Its too random a statement and doesn’t make sense.


    Ive edited the rather cryptic post!!

  5. I agree completely with Chandni. And I have seen some men whose wives do really cook really well but all the husband does is end up with the mother comparison. It wouldn’t hurt too much to say You’re each a great cook in your unique way, right?

  6. ha ha… eternal husband, wife, MIL triangle :). I first heard this from my long term bf and i swore to cook as well as his mum. i did and in fact my baigan bharta is much better than hers and he told his mom this. i think she still holds it against me :).

    hi, first time on your blog. came via IHM, i think 🙂

    Just call me ‘A’

    Hey A! Welcome here! Yeah cooking better than his mom is a cardinal sin now aint it!

  7. Yes, that certainly is balderdash.

    Me: 🙂

  8. Hey, hi there!

    I have no gyaan to share on this post… *sheepishly admits* I’d prefer my husband like my cooking over anyone else’s too, for no reason other than – I don’t really enjoy cooking everyday, left to myself, I might eat maggi or dal-rice on weekdays. So when I slog for an hour everyday after work (he helps, but it’s not the same, is it?) to cook, I want LOTS of appreciation and validation for it! (And never mind how the food actually tastes!) I get your point – I prefer my mom’s cooking too – but that has nothing to do with what we are talking about! 😉

    Did you take the words out of my mouth or what..”I don’t really enjoy cooking everyday, left to myself, I might eat maggi or dal-rice on weekdays.”. Yeah and I do get loads of appreciation…even when the stuff isnt great (yeah I can taste too!) I’m forced to take it with a pinch of salt!! I guess the appreciation is more for the effort in my case, because I do work long hours and I do insist on homecooked food!

    Oh, and I wanted to tell you this for so long now GDS – I love your blog and have been checking back for updates all these days! You write really well and straight from the heart…

    Ah the feeling is mutual! I love your writing too!

  9. Came to your blog from Chandni’s or the MM’s(forget which one) -anyway I am in your category – I don’t care if my husband prefers his mother’s cooking…In our case, both of us are perfectly competent cooks, but really appreciate both mothers’ cooking, simply because cooking is a chore to both of us, not something we take a great deal of pleasure in.

    Both our kids too, openly express their fondness for either Paati’s cooking (diff items for each one), and hey, all I can do is commiserate, since I’d rather be eating that item as well, rather than whatever it is I’ve cooked!


    Hey welcome here M! Do you blog..please do leave a link if you do! Yay! You’re bang on about what I’m trying to say! I really do wish I could go back to being 23 and getting wonderful homecooked meals from amma’s kitchen!

  10. HA..
    I learnt the hard way which is the toor dhal and which is the channa dhal. I married young and never ventured into the kitchen prior to marriage.

    Nk is a awesome cook..He makes all the complicated stuff(idli,dosa type complicated..oh he tried jalebi) His mom and both my mom are wonderful cooks both of us, the ulitimate compliment is “Wah tumne to ekdum mummy(ji) jaise hi banayi” when either of us have cooked
    And no one takes offense.

    🙂 I really wish KT was a good cook! Hate being the better cook, considering that my cooking is really nothing to speak of.

  11. Hopped over from Terry’s.
    It is only a matter of ego. Most women never take offense if the husband prefers a particular dish from a hotel over their own. This touchiness comes out of what women perceive as “ownership” over their husbands.

    Hey Lakshmi, thanks for dropping by! And you’re spot on..that’s pretty much what I was talking about!!

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