To do or not to do

After much dilly dallying I have now decided to apply for B schools this year. My options are incredibly limited as I am looking out for a one year programme (as if one year isnt bad enough). I am still not able to articulate the reasons for my wanting to do an MBA…I know that fresh out of graduation my reasons were primarily that I wanted to get into corporate finance related avenues and that with only a CA that was going to be tough. However now that no longer holds good…I seem to have broken that glass ceiling and I in fact have a couple of I banking offers…so the job reason is ruled out. And after a point qualifications do not matter..the work experience is what counts and if I can do well as I seem to have over the last couple of years then there is nothing to stop me…

But one thing is for sure..if I don’t do this or at least make another attempt, I know that this is one regret I will have life long…if I make an attempt and don’t get in then that is a different ball game all together..however if I don’t even try then I don’t think I can make peace with myself. So this is going to be simply a following my heart call that I’m taking. The implications are huge…for one I’m going to be throwing a few people’s lives into disarray.

KT. Having gotten another house which will be ready in August we are now making steps towards living in our own home minus the in laws. An MBA will mean me moving out for a year and KT will be left to fend for himself alone. Which does not make any sense..so we have to figure out what he can do in that time…either he has to move back in with his parents or they will have to live in our house. Or KT moves to the place where I will be and find a job…now that doesn’t seem a very viable option because such a major move for just a year doesn’t seem worth it…what happens when I finish the course and find a job elsewhere. So that needs to be sorted out.

Money matters…we are now paying off two home loans, plus I’d need to get a student loan, plus there won’t be any earnings, plus no savings as of now. Plus my mother needs money on and off and I can’t help if I’m not earning, however one way out of this is that my brother will start to earn and I’m sure he’d be willing to help out if she is in need.

My ma..I will not be there if she needs my help or emotional support. A will not be based out of Madras also and hence she will be all alone. This bit worries me too because sometimes another head is required to sort out issues at home.

All this I need to think about even before the actual headaches like the entrance exams, school selections etc kick in…the good thing is that the self doubt has not kicked in…yet! Time is extremely short and I need to prepare…there is the issue of the CFA exam as well.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being very selfish in wanting to do this. But I have the full support of all around me. KT of course is my sounding board and is fully willing to back me. My parents too have been the surprise package…I thought they might just resist now that I’m married and all and I am doing well enough without an MBA but they are completely with me on this. In fact my dad is very excited at the proposition!! Even KT’s parents know and don’t mind. I don’t know…I just hope I’m not making a mistake doing this…my heart tells me its the right thing to do…but my mind isnt too sure..

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