My tormentor manager, MG is quitting and has offers from an investment bank and a private equity fund….he just has no PR skills..has grown in the organisation by just sucking up to the boss…and his technical skills are nothing to boast about…and look at the opportunity he has landed…apparently the partner asked him to reconsider…a first for him..he just let’s go of the brightest people he has without batting an eyelid…
I should put down some MG anecdotes…coz he is simply priceless…and utterly obnoxious…
Saab kya khane vale hain
Was a Saturday and some of us were working in the office….we planned on ordering food in and decided to get stuff from Pizzeria..a colleague went around asking if we wanted pizza or pasta…when asked MG enquired in that nasal slimy voice…”Saab kya khane vale hain”, Colleague said pizza, and the shameless guy says “To mere liye bhi pizza mangvalo”…I mean the saab did not even know that MG was eating the same thing as him!!!
Midnight cross country around Bombay
This was personal victory for me..It was a Monday, two weeks since I had landed in Bombay. I had been provided with hotel accomodation for that period and had been trying without much luck to find myself an apartment. I had requested for an extension of the hotel accomodation but after much dilly dallying it was refused saying that it would set a bad precedent and was informed about the stupid decision just that morning. We had a client deadline and were expected to be on calls all day. I had told the hotel that I would either be extending my stay or checking out soon..and once I got to office I knew I had to check out..but couldnt get there till lunch..I checked out, left my baggage there itself..got back to the office and made frantic calls to my mom…I was alone in the big city, with heavy luggage and no place to stay!!! My ever enterprising ma called up a cousin and “informed” them that I was going to be staying with them!!! All this at around 3 30 pm!!!
The work dragged on..new deadlines were made, some met some unmet….time: 8:30…
MG slowly remembers my plight and checks with me about my plans…and I pointedly inform him that I have found accomodation in my uncle’s place..not a very close relative..and that they live in Vashi..30 km away from Nariman Point..good he said..and oh…can u please update the model as asap…no hint taken….
We were on calls / reviews with partners…nothing earth shatterring that required my presence (a two week old fresher)…calls started pouring in asking me when I was coming home..from my uncles, my parents, KT…this continued for around 3 hours..when finally MG at nearly 12 MG says “S, its getting late, please leave”…I gaped at him…hadnt he heard me out earlier or what…I managed to calm myself and said “I’m new to Bombay, I need to go to Vashi…some 30 km away…if the taxi wallah were to drive me out to Pune even I wouldnt know…i have heavy luggage…and its nearly midnight…and I wouldnt even be able to give the cabbie directions quite the perfect situation to be taken advantage of”….I had visions of me lying on some lonely road beaten and raped..all luggage stolen…and the guy calmly says “Cabbies in Bombay are very reliable, its a safe city” I flipped…and he must have read the expression on my face as he continued helpfully “I’ll even take down the cabbie’s mobile number and also his regn number from his number plate ensuring that he notices me doing it.” Immense gratitude swept over me and I gave him a dirty look and told him that I would spend the night in the office…,he mulled over that and said “Ok why dont we take the train…you carry two bags and I will carry two and then you can ask your uncle to pick you up from the station”
At that point I wanted to do nothing but bang the idiot’s head hard against the wall…but I somehow managed to calmly tell him that I couldnt exactly drag my poor unsuspecting uncle out of bed at 1 30 in the night…!!! And I didnt get the point…how exactly did taking the train help the case of a man who had to travel from Nariman Point to Vashi and then to Borivili 🙂
I was unrelenting and to every hare brained scheme of his shook my head and said I will stay in the office!!! I was being a bitch…but hey..this was pay back time!!
Finally after much grumbling we took a cab and he dropped me off home..I reached at 1 30…so I’m guessing he reached at around 2 30..but the asshole that he is he saw the silver lining in the whole situation and shot off a mail duly marked to the partner….but this remains an all time favorite MG story!!
ID and password please
We were working late (yawn so what’s new)..but this was after the whole cross country incident…so the freshly stung MG magnanimously asked me to mail him the work from home…so I ran off completed the work and mailed him the stuff…which of course never reached the guy…next morning being a Saturday, I didnt hurry to the office and was still on the train by around 11 am and was halfway down to Nariman Point…MG called..
MG: Have you sent me the files
SM: Yes last night itself
MG: Oh I havent received it
SM: Ok..I should reach in 40 min..will come in and give you the file
MG: No I need it immediately (what he said in the night as well)
SM: Err..I’m on the train…no mail access remember
MG: Theek hai, tell me your gmail id and password and I will take it from the sent items
SM (recovering from shock): I will reach in 40 min..will give you the file (cut the call withouut giving the idiot an opportunity to speak another word)
“Next time your in Bombay let’s meet up for drinks”:
Conference call with a client, PA, based in the US
PA: You guys should come out here and see how we operate, not sit out there in Bombay and ask a bunch of questions..
MG: Oh yeah I think I will come..my aunty has been calling me from (sic) many months
SM: Oh God, spare me from this idiot..what part of the sarcasm did he miss!!
PA: Yeah you should come..in fact I may be visiting India soon..
MG: Oh that’s great…next time you’re in Bombay let’s meet up for drinks..
PA: We can meet up…but I don’t drink
MG: Ha ha ha…I also don’t drink..
SM: Where do I hide my face now..
MG(continues relentlessly): But I can serve very well
By then the entire team was eavesdropping on this priceless conversation laughing their asses off!!!
Wish I could throw open this entry to the rest of my colleagues…we’d write a book!!!
Latest news is that MG is taking up an offer as Head of the real estate division of a boutique investment bank…haha…if he doesnt last long in the job..the main problem is that he might try and rejoin here itself….
MG u truly suck…try and become a better human being man…and not kiss the boss’s ass so much….if you see me on the road…don’t bother saying hi..coz you won’t even know what hit you….
….my fist u dummy
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